Finding My Way Back to You
by LorMenari
Summary: It's been one year since graduation. One year since that letter was left behind. Why can't they stop thinking about each other?


**Hi bbs! I'm back with a new story. I'll be updating my other stuff soon. I hope you like this first chapter and don't mind Sam and Quinn with other people. It shouldn't last very long, though. This is a Fabrevans story, after all. Will contain mature themes such as sex and drugs. Also, offensive language will also be used. This is set one year after graduation. Thanks for reading!**

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><p>Talking to the Moon<br>Trying to get to You  
>In hopes you're on<br>the other side  
>Talking to me too<p>

[Talking to the Moon – Bruno Mars]

One stupid year. That's all it was and yet Sam felt like it had been much longer. And much shorter at the same time. He was back in Tennessee and going to college, somehow getting a scholarship to play for the University of Tennessee. Life had changed him but not enough to where he wasn't the same old dorky Sam Evans. And, sure, being a college football player opened up new opportunities for the boy. At least, in the girl category. Hot, bubbly co-eds were lining up and throwing themselves at him. Even the ones who were not single were offering him a night at hot, hot sex, no strings attached. Sam never took the girls who had boyfriends up on their offers. And he rarely went out with any of the girls though his social life wasn't lacking. He went to games (besides his own), club get togethers and parties. Of course, he skipped the drinking at parties. Alcohol would ruin his abs that he worked so hard for. And, yeah, sometimes he wished he could just forget about everything. He wished that he could party and sleep around like the other guys, but that just wasn't him. Never had been and never would be. Granted, he had a couple of one night stands when he first came to college. And he had tried so hard to stay away from the blonds. Especially ones with hazel eeys. So, he took home Daisy with red hair and green eyes once. And then Katie with brown eyes and brown hair another night. Tonight, he was going over to Claire's. She was the first blond but her eyes were big and blue and he hoped it was enough to keep a certain someone out of his mind.

It was a year ago today when he got that letter from _her_ that broke his heart into a million pieces. The same ltter that was in his top drawer, buried underneath his socks and underwear. The letter that still held her signature scent, like it had been doused in her perfume.

"Sam...earth to Sam," a voice rang out beside him.

Sam shook his head, trying to clear his mind from the dark thoughts that would easily take over his brain if he let them. He put on a fake smile and looked down at the blond beside him.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"Just how I can't wait to get you in bed and have my dirty, dirty way with you."

The blond winked and led him to the stairs of her dorm. Sam wasn't particularly enthused by this, but he was a guy and she was hot and wanted him. They made their way to the third floor and before he knew it, they were in her room, kissing and touching.

The girl was puling at his belt, his shirt already thrown across the room. Sam had his mouth attached to her neck, leaving angry red whelps in his wake. He was hard and really wanted to get this show on the road. Sam pulled away and started to undress himself.

"Strip," he said in a low voice.

Claire instantly pulled her shirt over her head and unlatched her bra, letting it fall to the floor. She shimmied out of her skirt and laid on the bed, fully ready for whatever he was willing to give. Sam slipped his boxers off and rolled a condom on. He always kept one in his wallet. He climbed on the bed and started kissing his way up her leg. The boy could smell how much she wanted him.

"Say my name, Sam."

That was all it took for the images to come rushing back. Images of Quinn. Quinn at school, Quinn at Sectionals their senior year where they were forced to sing a duet together, Quinn after he broke up with Mercedes, Quinn in his bed, Quinn going down on him, Quinn as he went down on her, Quinn as he made love to her on her bed, on the floor, in the motel room, in her car...and every other place.

The images always came but, this time, he couldn't handle it. He got up and a whimper escaped Claire's throat. He's already in the middle of getting dressed and her voice is sad when she asked him why.

"Sam is it because you think I'm too fat?" she asked as she sits up.

He felt horrible, especially when she asked if it was because of her weight. It reminded him of Quinn and her vulnerability so he turned back to the blond in bed.

"I just can't have sex with you..."

"Why? What did I do? I didn't ask for a relationship. God forbid you get into one of those. I know your reputation, Sam. Some of the guys think you are gay because you hardly ever get with a girl. You like to be the chaste boy. But, here I am, offering you sex without strings."

"I'm not gay. I'm just..."

"You are just what, Sam? Explain it to me."

"I'm in love."

The girl looked at him, confusing written on her face. She slowly pulled the covers up around her body and clenched her jaw.

"How dare you come here when you have someone. I'm not that kind of girl, Samuel Evans."

"Oh, but you are the kind of girl who has one night stands? Look, I'm single. It's just...really complicated."

Sam sighed and reached for the door. The girl, sheet wrapped around her, got off the bed and stopped him. She was curious and wanted to help the sad sounding boy. What had happened to make him the way he was? Who was this mystery girl?

"Wait. Tell me what happened."

"I met her junior year of high school. She was head cheerleader and I was just this guy who played football and then joined glee. Which she was in too. I got slushied and she cleaned me up. I told her she had pretty eyes in Na'vi...the Avatar language. We sang a duet together. We started dating after I gave her a promise ring. But then she cheated on me. I broke up with her. I started dating another girl, who was just using me for a cover up. She actually likes girls. And then she broke up with me...well, not really. She announced she was dating someone else. Then my parents lost their job and then the house. The girl I was in love with, the one who cheated on me...she had started dating that guy. The one who use to be my friend. Well, she helped me and my family out. And everyone thought she was cheating again. And she let them believe that so no one would know my secret. Then Finn came in, accusing me and I called her 'my girl' and well, things were not so good. Finally, I told everyone what happened."

Sam looked down at his feet, afraid to see the look in her eyes. The one that showed pity. He didn't want pity. That situation had made him much stronger than he had ever hoped to be.

"Well, they went to prom together. He was clearly still in love with his ex. Who was sort of my prom date. I had two."

She smiled then, thinking of him with two prom dates. He was pretty enough. And from what she knew, he was absolutely charming and a gentleman. She could see how two girls would gladly share him for a prom date.

"Well, soon after prom, the cheer coach lost her sister. She had like some sort of problem. But it was really sad. Two guys from the glee club volunteered us to help at the funeral. We sang or whatever. But as we were sitting there during the thing, I was beside her. And I kept looking at her. I listened to what the coach was saying about her sister. About how she would give everything for just a little more time with her sister. And that's how I felt about..this girl. After the funeral, the guy broke up with her. I wanted to run to her. But I didn't."

Claire was crying. This was all too sad and she could see how much pain he had experienced in his short life. He had to be only seventeen at the time. And it sounded like he really loved this girl.

"We had Nationals for glee in New York shortly after that. I thought...maybe something would happen between us. But it didn't. And when we got back, I started secretly dating a girl in glee club. I didn't want to make it a secret, but she did. So I went along with it. When everyone found out, they thought it was because we were in love or something. It wasn't love. It was companionship. She didn't want to be alone any more. And neither did I. It broke..._her."_

"Sam...what happened your senior year?"

By this point, Claire was so wrapped in his story. She wanted to know more and let him know that, eyes begging to be told this was a happy story, even though she knew it wasn't.

"Well, I dated that girl until September. I was playing football and did glee along with my job. We didn't really have time to date and we both decided to end it. We left friends. November third was the day she kissed me after glee practice. She just walked up and," Sam shrugged and smiled.

"Anyway, we were officially dating a week later, promise ring back on her finger. I had never felt more alive than I did the moment she asked me to put it on her finger. Things fell back into place. My dad got a job and soon we were out of the motel and into an apartment. I felt better about myself. I had her back in my life. Our glee club went to Sectionals then Regionals. Finally we were at Nationals and I sang a duet with her. We won. Graduation was coming up and I was so excited. We planned on coming here together. I got a scholarship for football and she got one for academics. Right after graduation, I looked for her. But...she was just not there. In her place was a letter addressed to me. She was gone."

The girl looked at him, teary eyed and shaking her head. It seriously broke her heart. Why did this girl leave him? It sounded like she must have loved him too. And he was so perfect. Why would anyone want to break his heart?

"Sam...I'm so sorry..."

"That's why I...I can't. She was my first. And when you said 'Say my name Sam' it got to me. She always said that."

The girl nodded her head and patted his shoulder. He smiled and shrugged and headed for the door. He wanted to get out of there. To think.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"Thanks Claire."

Sam opened the door and headed out of her room. He took the stairs down and opened the front door, letting the cool air hit him. The night air always felt good, way better than during the day. Sam started walking, hands in his pocket, back to his dorm room. As he was walking, he looked up at the stars. He was transported back to the day in the Astronomy classroom where he asked Quinn if they were on the planet of love or the planet of war. She had said they were on Earth and then ran when he tried to kiss her. Sam swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't cry again tonight. He looked up at the moon and sighed. He remembered what she said to him one night after they had made love in her room.

"_Sam, baby, come and look," the blond said from the window seat. _

_They had just made love in her bedroom, Judy Fabray being absent. Sam wanted nothing more than to cuddle with his girl and fall into a deep sleep. Her mom wouldn't be back until late the next day. He groaned and sat up. He would do anything for her, after all._

"_It's snowing Quinn. Why do you have your window open?" he asked as he walked across her room, wrapped only in her sheets._

_Quinn shrugged from her spot, comforter wrapped around her small body. She liked the snow and sure, she would have liked to be wrapped up in him, but she wanted to see the first snow fall of the year. Once Sam was beside her, she smiled at him._

"_See the moon, babe. Remember, any time I am not with you, look up at the moon. I will be looking at it too. And then it'll be like we are right beside each other," she said before leaning in and kissing him, hands threading in his hair._

"Quinn, I'm looking at the moon. I really hope you are too. I love you."

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><p><strong>Reviews would be loved. They make me want to write more!<strong>


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